I agree with your thoughts about losing customers, thats' the nature of business. My thoughts about marketing and selling semantics is merely a secondary point as you've pointed out. I do, however, believe that the first step in changing common perceptions is changing the language. Selling implies just that, selling. Marketing is far harder, requires more experience, and only the greatest lovers have the skill to seduce prospects. But that's what it takes, more lovin' then sellin'.

I don't live in a world of "shoulds". My experience and the research that prompted me to go down this avenue are more persuasive.

If you expect to close every prospect you speak with, you're either setting yourself up for failure (in which case, share your stories with me at my next pubcon), or you have supernatural powers (and I'll be the one buying you beers at the pubcon to learn about your new sales methods, just before you publish them and become a millionaire). So yes, you should be prepared to lose prospects using Reverse Selling. Look a little deeper and you'll notice that the prospects you're losing would either not have converted anyhow, or would have been too expensive to service.

I agree with all the value-add you've outlined, still got to get to what the client really needs and do all the hard work of understanding their business and sites.

The distinction between whether you're marketing or selling isn't imho an important one. Simply put, marketing is what you do in order for the client to call you. Sales is what you do to convert them from that point on. Ask a salesperson if you're not persuaded. Of course you would have to be doing a decent job of the marketing in the first place in order to get the call... but that's the domain of Internet Marketers, so I bow out at this point.